whew... it's cold out there!!!

I love winter. The snow is so pretty and all the little kids are so excited. They are all bundled up with their little noses poking out and red...everyone is so happy and cheerful. We celebrate our Savior's birth... I don't know if I told you but we have decided to not celebrate Christmas in the usual fashion this year. Our wole family from both sides is going to the Great Wolf Lodge for a family reunion. There will not be a present exchange, So my husband and I decided not to put up a christmas tree, and after discussing it with everyone, we voted presents out at home as well. but last night in the middle of the night, my 9 year old daughter went into the attic and got out all the decorations and she and her friend Jane set up a christmas tree in her bedroom and hung lights allover her room. When I went up there this morning boy was I surprised. Do you think we had a mis-communication?? To add to the merriment, My family and I went to North Bend and rode the Santa Train =) We sail each summer with our friend, Tim who was a doctor in South Africa, The Netherlands, England, Newfoundland, Nebraska and Washington. He is retired and we have a lot of fun together, sailing and hiking and going to the beach and museums. Well, he lives on lake Union, next to an author who invites us to ride the Santa Train each December. When we get together we sing Christmas carols, and drink cocoa and talk to santa and snack on cookies and catch up on all the news since we saw each other last. What a day, it is so nice to spend time with friends and family. After we got home, my husband and I decided that next weekend we will put up a tree in the front room so Gracie doesn't have to do it alone in her bedroom...

apology

okay so I admit I may have come across a bit gruff and I want to appologize and ask for forgiveness. In my last blog I began to rant and now I feel guilty for being so nasty. I am really stressed out, I would usually keep my ugly comments to myself. please read my blog attached to Mila's last post

how has this blogging helped me??

hmmm, well to be quite honest, I really do not like blogging. I think it is just something I have to do to pass a class, much like anything else---like reading a book or listening to a lecture but I don't get much out of blogging. Mostly because we have to blog on specific things and I am not much of a deep thinker so a lot of the time I am just kinda saying "WHAT...?...?.....? and I am without a single word on the subject. Then there comes the times where we have to blog on what someone else has to say. If I don't have time to blog in the first place or email like I like to, how do I have time to read somone elses blog?? REALLY, NOW. Have I mentioned that this last summer when I was saying my good byes to all my family and friends that I apologized early?? I told them I would be busy and may not be able to visit with them but just know it's only temporary and I do love them, I am just focusing on school...I am pretty busy with just studying and being a mom and wife. I guess what I have gotten out of this is patience in doing things I don't really like. I can tolerate it and will do it because it is assigned to me.

technology

Working in the hospital and attending NU helped me to realize just how important technology is. I have also experienced the frustration of having it. Like when you go to clinicals and you cannot chart because the computers are down, or when you want to renew your license and they aren't able because of a glich in the computer that says you are not old enough, or when you hear yet another sad story about how somebody has had their identity stolen. I do know the importance of it all and how far we have come, too. Technology has greatly influenced healthcare--- medications can be managed between the pharmacy and the nurse through the medication administration record (MAR), and a doctor can look at a patients chart via his computer from his beach house 300 miles away... what about all the machines they use for screening and performing procedures? It takes lots of education and training to operate them. Speaking of education and devices, I don't know how I ever lived without my laptop and cell phone. I don't and have not ever lived close to my family and because of computers and cell phones, I can talk with my mom every morning over a cup of tea, and I email my sister and nieces and cousins, and we send pictures and prayers.... Technology is a wonderful thing even though it's a pain in our neck once in awhile.

why are we doing this??

Today's discussion in Social issues fired me up. I just cannot fathom being in the medical field for anything more than to fill a deep desire to help others. Working in a free clinic, helping those who cannot afford health care, who do not have the resources to obtain medication, supplies, treatments, assistive devices---this is my heart's desire. I just want to help people who cannot help themselves. I understand where they are and I know there is help out there, you just have to know where to turn and who to ask. I would be proud to work in a public clinic. I want to be that resource person. I don't have the words to explain how passionately I feel about this issue. I was surprised to hear people are ashamed to go to a clinic, that their pride holds them back---and even shocked to hear that they recieve substandard care when they go to one of those type of facilities. Having a heart for nursing is a God-given talent and we should deliver care to all as if we were doing it for Jesus. Everyone of us is someone He loves and who He died for...I couldn't have said it better when I said I live under a rock. In my small world, I see things much differently than most and it saddens me.

a heart for nursing

I wanted to share this with you. I had a pt the other day who is an owner of a retirement home. Her brother told me a lot about her. Apparently she was the kind of person who spent her whole life caring for others. She looked into the hearts of people and looked for caring individuals to work at the center she own. She often hired people who were new to our country, she would pay their husbands to work as maintenance men or land scapers, painters, drivers ... And the women, she hired to work as Aides and then she would go on to help them with school to persue a career in nursing. She would buy their kids school clothes, supplies and shoes and help them any way she could until they got on their feet. Some of those people stayed and worked for her 20 or 30 years. Now she is sick and needing care and has so many people there for her, supporting her through her illness. She looks at a person's heart and spirit and hires them according to the feeling she gets from them--are they doing this because they just need a job, or do they really care about people and want to help them. Her story reminded me how we can be missionaries wherever we are,, everyday of our lives. She really impressed me. she also said she has worked with NU for many years and is quite impressed with the nurses from BSON !!

"What's that mean???"

I decided to get a tattoo on my wrist so when I hold out my hand to someone, they will see it and ask me "What's that mean?"....... I thought When I heard those words, I could say...
"N O T W" and then I would go on to tell them how it represents my religion. Well, today, while I was at the hospital---it happened. "What is that diddy on your wrist??" he asked....
I said, "what?? Oh, it means not of the world" and I walked out before he could say anything else. So I prayed and asked God what happened, I had rehearsed this so many times and I just missed my chance. I was bummed and wished I had what it takes to be bold, I got this stinkin tattoo and I don't even use it. Well, I had to go back in the room a few minutes later and the guy said to me "it's a shame, we can't talk about that" and he pointed to my wrist. I was stunned! Okay, Lord, THANK YOU, I thought... and then I said.... we can talk about it. It is from the bible when Jesus says we should be in the world but not of the world. And then we talked about Christianity and what it means to be a believer in Jesus. A very cool moment for me, I thought I would share with ya all how I lived out my faith while nursing today :)

# 12 Faith in Nursing

I know this is supposed to be about faith and how we integrate our faith in nursing so I have been trying to think of something to tell you all. I'd like to tell you how it took an act of God to get me out of bed this morning, or how I prayed I would not vomit yesterday when I was doing a dressing change but Somehow I think that is not what Professor Haldeman is looking for.
Today is our last day of clinical rotation at our long term care facility. I am sad, I am going to miss my little lady I have been caring for. Miss M says she likes me, I would have never guessed. She does not show her feelings. This was not easy going into a nursing home and working with elderly people who are sick and not going "home". We went in and for a short time we were there to help out where we were needed and we gleaned a ton of information from the nurses and aids. I enjoyed it and will be sad when I say good bye. I know we left a mark on their hearts and minds. We are green and unsure and inquisitive, we are eager to help and learn and probably a lot like they (the staff) were when they first started. Some of them still had a love for their job but others--- it was just a job. One Nursing assistant I worked with schooled me on how time was the governor and emotion played no part. hmmm I'll have to remember that. I for got to use it, though when I met a sweet little lady who syays in bed. It was breakfast time and we were all passing out trays. Nobody wanted to take hers in, sad, i know but what the heck, I went...there she layed, so fragile and small. she was scared when I raised the head of her bed and she did not want breakfast or the curtains opened. Her aid came in and said she would not eat much and then picked up her toast with a fork and offered it to her. Weird, I thought. So I lingered and when the gal left, I began to talk to "R". She was alert and we talked about her life and kids. She was very interesting and funny. What a waste, I thought. She is just tucked away back here in this room, left alone and forgotten, That's sad. God gave me the words I needed and we had a wonderful conversation. She ended up drinking 480cc and ate 50% of her meal. I think that is faith in nursing. I could have just walked away, too but God asked me to stay, He gave me the words I needed, and the whatever it was I used when I used what we learned in the classroom... I was touched.... I hope you all have a wonderful last day.

ADPIE, a bit out of the ordinary...

Hey you guys, I just wanted to let you know WE SUCK (D) all I could think about last night is how WE, me included, left a huge mess in the lounge yesterday. (A)
The seniors are going to leave us a nasty gram. I tossed and turned all night. When we go back Monday, we will probably find there are no dishes left whatsoever. You think it was bad when they started hiding them?? well, they most likely threw them all away yesterday when they saw the mess we left....I usually go back in there and check but with my needle incident---well, what can I say, I guess I was a bit distracted.

So, I have come up with a solution (P)to this mess...If we go back on Monday and we are so lucky that there are dishes left, I think we should start checking each day after class and each of us that use the kitchen could take a turn cleaning up, I will go by today after clinicals and clean it up if they are still there (I) <<< color="#cc6600">(E)evaluate our success next week . tell me what you think??

Skills Practice

I went to skills practice today, all prepared. I read my book book and watched my videos and I was READY... So we grouped together with a professor and we went thru all the steps and and and we began to act out the steps when all of a sudden I felt a quivver in my tummy. I took a deep breath, swallowed and then I started over. Did the 5 rights, checked twice, used the alcohol swab, took out the needle and well, that feeling came back and I dashed out of there quick and to the bathroom I ran. Hmmmm I did not know that I felt that way. I felt so silly. So I collected myself and went back to the lab. I rejoined the group and tried to pick up where I left off when all of a sudden, I stuck myself with the needle--- I hit it hard enough to bend it over!! Oh my gosh, what is up with that?? So then I had to call my doc and tell them what happened and ask if I needed to come in for a tetanus shot... NO, because I just had one in August. So I went BACK to the lab and got on the horse AGAIN. I was not going to give in to this. Everytime I try to stick the needle into the rubber stopper, I just shake. Can you believe that?? It seems like such a small thing and then when I go to give the manequin a shot, I feel like I am going to barf. Mis M and I stayed in the lab today until 1600, and I am happy to say that I can do the 5 rights, find the sweet spot, wash my hands, put on gloves, wipe the bottle top with an alcohol swab, draw up the solution, swab the skin, check for bubbles, do the 5 rights again, walk over, administer the medication and stay around long enough to clean up my mess, say thank you, dismiss myself and feel like I am gonna make it =)

wow, really??

#5 okay so I just have to admit this. I could not figure out where my old blog spot was so I created a new one, then while looking at some of my class mates posts, I came upon one that looked a bit interesting and while reading it I thought it sounded a bit familiar, then I realized it was MINE...maybe I need to go live at one of those LTC facilities!! anyways, here I am and I posted today and hopefully you all can find me.

one thing I want to say is I am praying for all of you. I know what we are doing is not easy and it doesn't help when EVERYONE around us keeps telling us how hard it must be... yes, it is hard but it is do-able. God called us to be nurses and we wouldn't be here if it wasn't what we were born to do.
We also have professors who love us and care about us and pray with us and for us and our class is like a big little family. I am so proud to be a part of this and every night I thank the Lord for this opportunity.
When I came to NU, I was way out of my comfort zone. I felt almost silly, you guys are so much younger than me, ( I have kids your age.) I want to tell you I have been working at this for a long time. I went to class in between having kids and taking them to preschool, boy scouts, football practice, wrestling, band practice...I have written papers while bathing my baby, folding laundry, and cooking dinner...nursing in the middle of the night while practicing a presentation... yes, it has not been easy but it's been a lot of fun and quite interesting and I have learned so much and have met so many fun people.

I have never been happier that I am right now.

I just want to tell you how much you all mean to me and how lucky I feel to know you and be a part of this wonderful cohort.

see you in class

thoughts on the future...

So I have been so busy and caught up in school that it is all I think about. What I do all the time is study and if I am not studying, I am thinking about studying. The other part of my life is being a mom and a wife and well, on Saturdays, I take care of Josie. She is a fully functioning 93 year old little Canadian Lady whom I adore. We have the best times together...we bake cookies, and go for walks, and talk about the news and current events, we read TIME magazine together, she still does dishes and I dry them, we cook dinner together---like I said, fully functioning... she knows that I am in nursing school and we talk about it often. I invited her to our consecration on September 30th and that night really brought things into perspective for her. When I arrived on Saturday, she began to talk about nursing and how school is such an exciting and busy time. Then she got really quiet, and she looked deep into my eyes and asked me what my plans were for the future. She asked me how busy I planned to be...I said, I didn't really know but I assumed I wouldn't be busier than I am right now, during this time of my life. She then said so sweetly, "you know, I don't really need a nurse but I do enjoy your company and I do so hope you will continue to come stay with me on Saturdays" (Whaaaaaaaa) she is just so sweet. I assured her I would continue to come. It was nice to see we feel the same way =) Sometimes I get busy and I feel like I should take that day off so I can study more and then I remember what she said and I realize that I am too busy and I need to slow down and make time for the people I love and who need me.

she smiled...

WOW, I just realized that we are coming to an end of our clinical assignment at our long term facility. You know, at first, I was sooooooooo scared. I just did not want to go at all. I did not know what to expect as a nursing student. I called a fellow classmate and told her how I felt and she prayed with me. I felt the worries just lift off my shoulders. The next day, my professor was very helpful and my fears were eased. I guess I was just worried that we would be turned loose in that place and I was afraid I would make huge unforgivable mistakes. I found out that is so not true. Our professors are here for us and support us and want to see us succeed. These last weeks were a lot of fun and I learned so much. I got to know my resident, which was not easy or much fun. She was a closed book. She has suffered many hurts throughout her life and her trustometer was severly damaged. I worked to gain her trust, she is not willing to just be friendly... so it was not easy. Last Friday, I saw her twinkle at me and I said..."hey, I saw that!" and she smiled at me. It was very nice to see. We talked for a long time last Friday and she told me many things that surprised me. Her life is dismal most of the time and it saddens me to think I am leaving next week and going off to some other place but she is staying there and doesn't have a lot of freedom to do as she pleases.... Freedom is rare in a place like that. The residents are told when to do what at which time and where. So when they decide to refuse a treatment that is actually very good for them, I totally understand why. I am learnig to let them exercise their autonomy.

Nursing School

Nursing school is all I ever hoped for and so much more. I am having so much fun and am so thankful to have this opportunity. I love all of my class mates and am so happy we all get along so well. Today was especailly fun, we had a small group project in Social Issues and it was interesting to see how every one dealt with the assignment so differently. Some of us were so creative. I especially liked the group that used an auto shop for an example. It is so true, we need the right tools and the education behind us to do our job properly. I am so thankful for ll of out teachers. Since clinicals started though, I sure miss some of them. We don't see much of each other, now. But on a good note, the people in my clinical group have grown closer. This is a nice bonus. i have heard other classes before us did not get along so well. We seem to be a good group and we are all happy and fun and cheerful. I am proud to be a part of the BSON 2010

Please, can we elevate your legs??

I have a client who refuses to get out of her wheelchair and has been doing this since June. Last Friday, we talked about this issue and made a plan. She agreed to get into a recliner so she could elevate her legs daily for 1 hour. My part of the deal was to get her back into her wheelchair before I left for the day. Well, She got into the chair and everyone was so surprised... she looked so comfortable and even a bit relaxed. She sat there with her legs elevated while I went to post clinical conferences but when I returned, she was gone...today we talked about fidelity and I feel so guilt- riden. I did not look for her, I should have and I have to go appologize when I go back Thursday and try to regain her trust. It is not going to be fun or easy and I am worried but I do have faith that God will give me the words I need. She semms like she has been let down before and her guard is up so I have to try an break thru that so we can work together.